You mean he cuts off all communication with me? Because we have officially not been a thing for over a year and a half now.

If that happens, wherein he decides I will not be part of his life in the slightest, I will probably cry ugly tears for a few weeks. Lose my apetite. Feel nauseous. Cry some more. Get pretty. Fuck bitches, get money. Be over it.

That is my process. 

I assume anyway. I’ve never had a real heartbreak before.

Moderate I guess. I don’t actually meet new people very often, and even more rare are the people I meet that I want to be friends with. 

I have a hard time maintaining surface relationships. There is a huge difference to me between an acquaintance, and a friend. 

Also, I don’t tend to approach people. If I do, I’m usually drunk and it is to insult them about sports I know nothing of (Yes, I am that drunk girl). If you approach me and I think you’re funny, it’s a safe bet that I will hang out with you again. As long as you make the first move the next few times too. I have this insecurity where I think people don’t want me around unless I know them REALLY well, or they were the ones to initiate contact. 

So I would say… It is easy for me to make friends, so long as they are invested in hunting me down… Unless you corner me too much in which case I will freak out and only pick up my phone every third time you call. I can’t handle overbearing either.

I think, in conclusion, it is less a question of, is it easy for me to make friends, and more of a question of, how easy is it for others to make friends with me?

Because I am a very good friend.

But it’s not easy to get to friend status with me. 

A 40 in each pocket plus pretending one is a penis? Yes I do this a lot

yes… but not very many. 

As far as the last time we talked about it goes, he definitely still wants to be with me. 

I don’t know if we ever really had a future together ya know? I don’t know that we’ve ever talked about it in those terms. We’d like to be occupying the same general area and be seeing each other again, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to a future together. That is a thing that would have to be IN the future, but I don’t think either of us have ever thought about being each others futures. It’s not such a simple thing is it?

I didn’t think I was capable of loving anyone the way I love Noah. Even if we don’t have a future together, I’m glad we have what we do.

“Would you complain because a beautiful sunset doesn’t have a future or a shooting star a payoff? And why should romance ‘lead anywhere’? Passion isn’t a path through the woods. Passion is the woods. It’s the deepest, wildest part of the forest; the grove where the fairies still dance and obscene old vipers snooze in the boughs… Well, remember this, pussy latte: we’re not involved in a ‘relationship,’ you and I, we’re involved in a collision. Collisions don’t much lend themselves to secure futures, but the act of colliding is hard to beat for interest”