Dad: Why is there an empty pickle jar on your floor?
Me: There were only two left so I took the whole jar...
Dad: All I ask is that you don't turn into that orange Snookie bitch.
missmedley replied to your chat: Mom: Honey, wake up. I brought you a present! Me:… Ah I see Alicia was very giving when you mum visited last night. “NO BALLOONS, NO PARTY”
Mom: Honey, wake up. I brought you a present!
Me: What? I'm so tired. Hold on, let me sit up. Nope, nevermind I'm opening this laying down.
Me: ... A year's supply of birth control and a shit ton of condoms?
Mom: Starting the new year off right.
Me: ... Thanks?
Me: I dont know why, but when all my straight friends get drunk I tend to become the target of their lesbian curiosity.
Natalie: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've never fantasized about having sex with you.
My dads gonna kill me… I just ate all the pizzelle’s his godmother made him for christmas. whoops.
Anonymous asked: lolol at that pic. ohhh the youth
Baby Love - The Supremes I’ve been singing...
me: i really cant stay
computer: but baby its social outside